be passionate.

I recently heard a quote from Chef Edward Lee about how he puts passion into his cooking. I can't recall exactly what was said, but he spoke of working everything from your past, present, and future into what you're making in that moment. As you work with your hands, think about what you struggle with, what brings you joy, your friends and acquaintances, loves - current and lost, the feel of the food on the chopping block, in your hands. The texture, the color, the smells, the taste. Think of the best meal you've had, the tastiest drink. Think of your most embarrassing moment, the smell of your lover's skin, the last time you cried from laughing. Lose yourself. Pour every ounce of your soul into your hands, to be transferred to the food. That's passion. That's how to live life.

Lately, I haven't felt like baking. I haven't felt like blogging. I haven't felt like doing much of anything. I've been struggling to simply do the things I love because I felt that if I was unhappy in my life, how could I set that aside to pour my soul into a new creation - be it food, friendships, or a silly blog post?
The past three months have been some of the hardest I've ever experienced. It got to a point that it was almost comical that so many things were going terribly. It's so interesting that when things begin to fail in our lives, we pull away from the people and things that would be most beneficial for us to run to.

I was looking at everything wrong. You don't have to be filled with positive emotions to make something great. Some of the greatest things are created as a result of suffering. This is me recognizing life doesn't have to be joyful for me to be full of joy; it doesn't have to go the way I expect or want it to, to be inspired.
I'm going to apply for that freelance food critic position. I'm going to grow a vegetable garden. I'm going to plan a trip to Europe. I'm going to throw a panty party for my girlfriends. I'm going to eat good food, drink great drinks, read books that make me think, and love my friends well. I'm going to because I can and because I deserve to and because I need to live this one life I have. That's certainly how the Lord intended for me to do it. He wants us to have fun and to enjoy the greatest creation He is responsible for.

Go.

Things encouraging me lately to move past myself:
"When heartache cuts at such a deep level that simple optimism is not enough… only hope can emerge. When it does, it is undeniably from a source far greater than ourselves." -becomingminimalist.com
To read.
To listen.

"So, please, ask yourself: What would I do if I weren't afraid? And then go do it."
— Sheryl Sandberg (Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead)
-e.